My Fears and Worst Habits

A couple weeks ago, Kait blogged about her biggest fears and her worst habits. She said she did this blogging challenge as a way to spice up her blogging as she was feeling uninspired. I hear you friend. So I thought I would share with you some of my fears and my worst habits. Enjoy. Hopefully I don't scare you off.

FEARS

Sharks. I am sooooo afraid of sharks. I have dreams about them and being eaten by them. But I definitely fear my fear when I watch Shark Week or shark attack videos. Yep, I mentioned it awhile ago, but I have a fascination with shark attack videos. They are such powerful creatures that I want to know everything about them.

Dying alone. I always get so choked up when I learn that someone has physically died alone. I would hate to take my last breath and know that no one was around me when I went. I want to see my loved ones faces before I go. I feel like I would feel more at peace that way.

My dog dying. I can't even type that out without tearing up. I love Walter so much. He is our little companion and my heart. He is my first "child" and I can't imagine life without him. When my childhood cat passed away (at 19 years), I had the hardest time. I went to my parents house to say goodbye to him just in case they needed to put him down (he was having trouble going to the bathroom, sitting and losing weight) and when my mom left to go to the vet, I cried in their driveway. I was laying in their driveway until my mom came back with his body.

I was so sad that she didn't let me go with her, but she said she wanted me to have happy memories of him and not see him like that. I get that now, but not then.

I just fear the day when my pup goes.

Losing my family. Enough said.

Flying. This one may seem weird since I fly all the time, but I get a little stomach twist, close my eyes and say a little prayer every time I fly. I just read too many stories and that fuels my fear.

Burglary/Home invasion. Our house was burglarized in 2011. I know I have wrote about this before on my blog, but if you are new or forgot, I will summarize it. It was a Monday morning and I had a bad feeling while I got ready in the morning, but I brushed it off and went on with my day. One thing that stands out to me was thinking I should hide my laptop.

Anyways, we went to work and came home and Rory went over to our neighbors house for something, so I went to the back of our house to go through another door (our front door swells and is hard to get open sometimes). This was normal for us. When I went in backyard, a few of our boards to our fence were missing between my neighbors house and ours. I didn't think much of it, but when I rounded the corner, I saw marks all over the back door. Like a crowbar tried to open it. Then I saw our bathroom window on the ground. And then I knew. I didn't even think and I unlocked the door and ran inside.

Our house was thrashed. They went through our garage, our kitchen, our living room, bedrooms, etc. They took so many things from our house. So many valuable things. It breaks my heart thinking about it. I ran out to Rory told him to come in and started to process it all. We called the police but it took them 4 hours to come over since no one was in the house. Ugh.

And then we started the process of filling out police reports, calling our homeowners insurance, etc. I hope no one ever goes through this.

So I definitely fear something like that happening again or even worse when we are home.

WORST HABITS

I bite/chew on my nails. I am definitely getting better about it, but when I get nervous or bored, I tend to bite or chew on my nails.

I am neurotic about cleaning. I took this one from Kait since I am definitely overly neurotic about cleaning. I need a clean house. I like a clean house and it probably drives my family crazy with how often I clean.

I am a worrier. I worry about everything. It is something that I constantly try to work on, but I worry. I worry about the what-ifs more than anything. I know this is dumb because most of the time those what-ifs never happen or they are so far fetched that they NEVER happen.

I am judgy. I hate being judgmental, but I often find I judge way more than I should. I hate admitting that I am judgy. Ha.

Over researching. When it comes to life, I research and google the shit out of everything. Case in point, before my septorhinoplasty, I googled what to expect, recovery, the actual procedure (even watched some Youtube videos) and real life accounts of it. I over research until I am either scared, satisfied or figured it out.

I am sure I have way more bad habits and fears, but these are the ones that came to mind right away.