Thursday, June 26, 2014

Story Time Kids

A few weeks ago, I did a guest post on September Farm’s blog for Saturday Confessional.  I had so much fun writing this post that I wanted to share another one.  I hope to share more as the weeks go on, but for now, enjoy this story.

Every summer, everyone looks forward to going to Lake Tahoe and floating the Truckee River.  This story takes place while floating the Truckee River.  One Saturday, a bunch of my friends met up at the usual starting point, filled up our tubes/rafts and made sure our classy boxed wine bags were ready.  Tip: Always bring the bag of wine because you can keep it chilled by dragging it in the river, easy access to drinking it and passing from raft to raft.  You’re welcome.
 image via

Everyone was having a good time while floating, drinking their wine and hanging out.  Well everyone except for Candice.  Candice drank entirely too much wine rather quickly.  We were sharing a raft with Bob and Joe, one of which Candice may have had a crush on.  Candice tied my car keys to her bathing suit telling me she wouldn’t lose them and it was double knotted.  Awww the tying bikini (bottoms and top).

Well when drunk Candice comes out, her bikini comes off or at least loosens up a bit.  This meant my car keys went into the river, not to be saved.  I knew it was time to cut her off and try to figure out how I would get another pair of car keys.  Big mistake, she decided to fight me in her drunken state.  Well fight isn’t the right word because Joe and I just tried to restrain her.  I did manage to get slapped and scratched quite a few times and even pushed off the raft which lead to several bruises and red marks.

Once we got close enough to the ending point, we got out (pulled Candice out) of the river and walked the rest of the way downtown to figure out what to do.  At this point, I didn’t want to have anything to do with Candice, but I did want her to be safe.  While making phone calls and trying to get another set of car keys, Candice took a seat on the park bench in downtown Reno.  She also decided to pee herself in front of everyone and draw enough attention to her that the cops came over.  Being the nice friend I am, I talked them out of taking her to the drunk tank.  Again you’re welcome. 

After an hour or so of trying to find a ride, we all had to walk home which was several miles in bikinis carrying rafts.  Thanks to Candice and her brilliance.

Just a side note, we all make mistakes in our lives, especially when it comes to drinking.  I am still friends with Candice (her name was changed for this story), and I still get a good laugh out of this story.

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