So last week was a weird week. I went on two mini work trips and it threw me off. I am not used to the traveling and didn't get any posts written, didn't respond to any comments or even read any blogs. I was so busy traveling, working, and then doing my travel claims that I got behind.
So today is just some randomness. Things that have been on my mind lately. Probably some word vomit.
If we were having coffee together, I would tell you....
...I have shared this with a few people that read here, but not with everyone. And now it is time. At the end of June, I am having a partial hysterectomy. After my last surgery in January to remove the scar tissue, it immediately came back and worse. This time it is invading my uterus and possibly outside of my uterus. We just won't know until they get in there. But my doctor told me the baby that we lost last year just didn't have a cozy environment in my uterus. There was too much scar tissue and now that it is worse, I could try to get it taken out and get pregnant right away, but it still may not stick.
After what we went through last year, I am done. I am keeping my ovaries, so I won't have to be on hormone therapy and I could still do an egg retrieval later on if I decided to have kids again. But I just wouldn't be able to carry said child. They are taking my uterus because that has been the problem and then the tubes as that is the first place that ovarian cancer shows up. The cervix is up in the air for now.
This has been a tough decision, but one that hopefully leads to a pain free life and no more surgeries.
...I am loving my Peloton. I have already used it 38 times. I was really hoping that I would get a lot of use out of it and I really have. My husband, not so much. I LOVE taking rides with Denis. He plays a lot of rock, classic rock and some punk rock in there. Another favorite is Bradley. He is from/lives in the UK and he has some pretty fun rides too. A lot of the same types of music as Denis, but Bradley has more punk rock.
...I am so out of sync with traveling. I used to pack efficiently, never forget anything, feel confident in what I packed, how I planned everything out, and now I am lost. As I said, last week I went on two work trip. I kept thinking I was forgetting something, I over packed in some items and then didn't bring my workout gear, so I missed out on a Peloton ride with some co-workers. Ugh. I know with time, I will get back into my groove, but for now, I feel lost. BUT can I just say that I am so thankful to be traveling again?!
...I have been watching This is Us since the beginning. The first season was soooo good. The second season was good too. And then season 3, 4 and 5 were just ok. They progressively got worse. So I wasn't expecting much for season 6. But WOW. This season is so good. I have cried so many times this season already and I fully expect I will cry these last three episodes. I don't want it to end. Why couldn't season 3, 4 and 5 been this good? Are you watching?
...I want to know if you wear a bikini, one piece, tankini or what for swimming. I am 38 and I will be 39 this year. Am I too old to rock a bikini?
...Speaking of surgeries, I need some series to watch when I am at home. It isn't until June 27th, so I have some time to figure out things to watch. But I will be home for 2 week straight, no work, nothing. So send me your favorites.
...I had the best Mother's Day yesterday. I will recap it on Monday, but I wanted to put something here. We celebrated me being a mama and celebrated with my little ladies. And I definitely thought about the little one that we lost last year. I hope however you celebrated yesterday helped your heart heal a little bit too. I know some of you want to be mother's and can't. I know some of you don't want to be mother's at all and that is ok too. And I know some of you have lost your mother's and my heart breaks for you as well.
...After the last two years, I feel like I am a whole other person. The pandemic really took its toll on everyone. Including me. I am thinking about going to therapy. Just to become a better mom, a better wife and a better friend. I think I have been through a lot in life and need to sort things out. I wouldn't say I am depressed or even sad. But I just want to work on becoming a better me. Do any of you go to therapy? If so, please reach out. I have a few questions for you.
...How do I get my butt back in gear to start reading again? I have so many books available to me, and I keep just passing on them. I love to read, but need to get my reading mojo back.
I hope you have a wonderful Monday and enjoyed a cup of coffee, tea or drink of your choice while reading this.
So, this last season of this is us is the better of the last ones the have done. I have pretty much cried with every episode. Congrats on coming to a decision with your surgery and I am hoping you will be pain free soon!
ReplyDeleteIt is so good. I don't want it to end now. But I wasn't as invested in the previous seasons either. Not sure if they could make more as good as this one. Thank you so much. It is a tough decision, but I am glad that it is made. Now to get to surgery.
DeleteI've gone to therapy but don't go currently. It's definitely worthwhile. Good luck with the surgery.
ReplyDeleteThat is good to know. I am glad that it helped. And thank you so much. Fortunately it is a bit down the line.
DeleteYou are NEVER too old to wear a bikini in general - but you lady, with that hot bod you have - even more of a reason - GO FOR IT!
ReplyDeleteI think that plan for your surgery is a great idea. & you still have options should you want another baby - best of both worlds. Get that uterus outta there!
You are sooo kind. Seriously. I feel like I am aging out of it. That is why I asked. I am so ready to be pain free and move on. No more surgeries or health crap!!
DeleteWishing you a successful surgery and speedy recovery- you got this!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteI am so sorry to hear that you are so torn about your partial hysterectomy; having approached mine from a completely different place I was able to view my options quite differently as well. I did keep my ovaries but everything else was taken out and I really did feel so much better afterwards; I hope that all goes well with the surgery and that you are pain free and surgery free from here on out. I just started wearing a 2 piece last year and do switch it up with one pieces and tankinies. I think the great thing about reaching mid-life is that you can pretty much get away with wearing whatever you want. I say keep on rocking the bikini for as long as you feel comfortable doing that!!
ReplyDeleteCan I ask why you had your partial? Were you in pain? Thank you for your kind words on what I am going through. You are the second person to say rock the bikini. I was just hoping I hadn't aged out of wearing them. I am glad that I have not.
DeleteYes, I was. I had a uterine fibroid, a uterine polyp, and even a minor ovarian cyst. I had been in pain for 2 years and had had a minor inpatient procedure a year prior to my hysterectomy (which according to my doctor was a full hysterectomy since they took my cervix as well-- I guess the ovaries are called something else?? I honestly don't know). Sadly the mini surgery didn't do much pain- wise or even bleeding wise as my periods had gotten really heavy. Something about the fibroid affecting the uterine lining so it gets much thicker than normal. By the time he said "hysterectomy" I was so ready for it.... of course that in was Feb of 2020 and I had to wait until sometime in Sept. for surgeries to get back on track but I honestly felt better that night in the hospital after my surgery than I had that morning when I arrived. The pain was that bad that I felt instant relief. I have my whole health saga documented on my blog and you can click backwards from my surgery post to see all that led up to it (if you want!): https://www.myslicesoflife.com/2020/12/health-saga-part-4-laparoscopic.html
DeleteHmm very interesting. I am not sure if they are keeping my cervix or not. They said they would know more when they got in there. Now that I am reading this, I remember. But I am definitely going to take a look at your blog post again because I know I will need some insight into it. I am so glad that you are pain free now.
DeleteAlso, the fact that you know what I have been going through. It sucks and it is hard to tell people what it feels like and what you are going through since they can't physically see the pain. So thank you for sharing with me!
*wishes*Successful surgery and speedy recovery *wishes*
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteSorry to hear about all your previous and now major future surgery. I am sure this can't be an easy decision.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't but you can totally rock a bikini at any age.
I watched some intense shows recently and I would absolutely recommend both Midnight Mass and Severance. If you want to watch some brainless fun then I accidentally stumbled upon OuterBanks, its a teen show so be prepared from a lot of craziness but I enjoyed it.
I gave up on This is Us a couple of seasons ago. :(
It wasn't an easy decision at all. It was only easy as I don't want the pain anymore. And thank you. I love all the love that you all are giving me to rock the bikini. I have heard great things about Severance. I think I need Apple TV. I haven't heard of Midnight Mass, so I will look into it. OH I LOVE Outer Banks. I watched it late, but now I am hooked. I almost gave up on This is Us too, but this season is sooo good.
DeleteYou are never too old to rock a bikini, especially your shape. Do it!!! I am sorry to hear about your surgery, but hopefully it will leave you feeling better all around. And at least you still have options should you decide. An ablation or hysterectomy were my options when I went to the doctor last. I haven't decided what is best for me. Right now I am working with functional medicine doctor to see if I can tackle my issues through nutrition, exercise and supplements first. I have fibroids and PCOS. My SIL had a hysterectomy awhile ago and she said it was the best decision. That she doesn't have any of that pain anymore. She had a lot of scarring as well.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch This is Us anymore. Chris got really bored with it in season 2 or 3? I can't remember. I never sit down to watch TV alone, so I never picked it back up. Glad to hear the last season got better. As far as therapy goes, I definitely agree that the last few years has taken a toll on all of us. We need to do whatever we feel is right to get to feeling like ourselves again. It is hard in a world where everything is crazy all the time. Besides my workouts and walks, I have taken to reading a devotional each morning and just being quiet with God for a few minutes. I have also been diffusing oils in my office while I work to lift my mood. Each thing helps in its own way. I think if you have it on your heart to speak to a therapist, you should try it.
Thank you so much. I just wasn't sure. I follow an IGer who had an ablation recently. Her name is GarciaDiaries I believe. I have both fibroids and PCOS as well. Total double whammy. I am glad you are going the route of health and nutrition first.
DeleteI almost stopped watching This is Us, but I am glad I watched this last season. It is sooo good.
I love the idea of daily walks, reading a devotional each day and working out. Those are all so good for our health! I wish I could diffuse oils in my office, but we can't. But I can on the days I work from home.
I found peace with Jesus Only He could give it me.
ReplyDeleteI am very happy for you. I will definitely keep that in mind!
DeleteOh Danielle, I'm so sorry that you had to make the decision to have a partial hysterectomy. I pray everything goes well for you. I can't imagine how hard that decision must have been to make. As for This is Us, I feel the exact same way! I loved the first few seasons, was kind of bored with the last couple of seasons, and now this season is blowing me away!! I have loved every single episode and I don't want it to be over.
ReplyDeleteWith regard to therapy, you probably remember that I currently go to therapy as I've been very open about it on the blog. I started going in 2019 after a huge panic attack and I've been going ever since. It has been life-changing and I highly, HIGHLY recommend going. I honestly think every single person could benefit from therapy... I believe it should be something everyone does for maintenance, just like you go to the doctor every year for a physical. If you have any questions about it I'm an open book, so just email or text me!
It was a tough decision, but being pain free is what I want. I still struggle with the decision at times, but I know it is for the best. And it doesn't leave me without any options if we do change our minds down the road.
DeleteI don't want it to be over as well. It is sooo good. I cry so much. I didn't think I would like one dedicated to Miguel, but wow. It was so good and so touching.
Do you go in person or online? I love that you are open about it. I want to be a better version of myself and I am really looking into it and considering it. So thank you for your openness on it.
I will definitely text you for more info.
I'm so sorry to hear about the tough decision with the partial hysterectomy. I hope it will all go well and end your pain and discomfort. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I sure do hope so as well.
DeleteThank you for sharing. I don’t feel so alone. Praying for a successful surgery. Regine
ReplyDeletewww.rsrue.blogspot.com
Thank you so much! I am glad that you don't feel alone and that I can help even just a little.
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